Saturday, August 13, 2022

Passing of my mother

I am now at home waiting for my mother to breathe her last breath on living earth. Ambulance will bring her back to our home for 22 years as it was her wish when she was in the hospital being treated for hospital acquired penumonia which caused lung infection and eventually heart failure.

What started out as a simple knee surgery from having osteoarthritis eventually escalated into life of threatining illneses. After her surgery, her blood pressure, glucose level were over the roof and wasn't able to return home. She was also having fever and doctors were not sure why and wanted to monitor her longer. The bill at sjmc kept piling up and sjmc kept calling us like loan sharks to pay up. After 6 nights at sjmc we decided to move her to University hospital which is half private and by government.  The attending sjmc orthopedic doctor, Dr Rusdi approved this as he said it shouldn't be an issue to have her transferred to University Hospital as it would be just monitoring my mom's health status. To be honest I wasn't entirely happy with this doctor as  when I first met him he talked me in a sarcastic manner when I questioned him on my mom health and the necessity of the surgery.

After a few days at the new hospital, she started to complain hard to breathe.  I was there when she was placed into isolated room (suspected covid but it result ended up negative) and I could see her struggling for oxygen. The next day she was moved to ICU for lung infection and doctor said he acquired penumonia during her stay in the hospital. which hospital we do not know. My dad would say it was mistake sending her to the government hospital but we can't be 100% which hospital she got it from but the thought of "What if we didn't send her to University Hospital" still lingers in my mind....


The day I sent her to the other hospital, we went back home first as she wanted to get some clothes. At first I objected as I was worried about her health. Now I think back it was the last time she was at home alive and conscious. I am glad she did go home. She will be home soon but she won't be conscious and will be the last good bye. I am very sorry Mom and I feel I should have treated you better. You deserved better.

I love you mom. I told her I loved her when was she had a tube in her mouth lying on the bed  and she looked very sad....I wished things to have turned out better as this was really unexpected turn of events. Doctor has given up on her and said whatever they were doing was killing her.

Anyway I hope you will pass to the next world peacefully. It will be hard for my family especially my dad who has been married for 45 years with her. When my mom was admitted into sjmc hospital my brother just departed for a trip to Bangkok and when he came back my mom was still in hospital. He bought a lot of things for my mom from Bangkok but unfortunately she won't be able to enjoy them...... My wife has been very supportive as she has been cooking for us and  giving moral support..I am so grateful to have her as my beloved wife. As for me, I have been crying alot lately but my father, mother and wife been there to comfort me when I should be the one comforting them. I have never cried this way infront of other people before and still in grief over my mother's eventual passing. But I promise I will stay strong for my dad and my family. 

Good bye mom...I love you with all my heart. You are the best mother and strongest woman I have ever known in my life...

Love you and good bye Mom......